Title: Concussion (2/3)
Pairing/ characters: Becker/Jess, Matt
Word Count: 3,515 (this part)
Spoilers: Not really
Summary: Becker gets a head injury out in the field and Jess has to do everything she can to keep him awake until help arrives... and that might include letting slip a few daydreams...
Well, here’s part two, as promised. It’s quite long (TWSS), but I hope you likes it. It’s almost midnight now so the next part won’t be up until tomorrow. Sorry!
Concussion Part Two
Jess couldn’t quite believe she was doing this, saying these things, but if it was working to keep Becker alert she wasn’t going to stop. Besides, he probably wouldn’t remember anything anyway. “Well, they’re more like fantasies, really,” she said.
Becker’s eyebrows went up. “Fantasies...?”
Jess smirked slightly at the slight lilt at the end of the word, inviting more detail. She snuck another look over her shoulder, just to make sure no one was in earshot. The Hub was still deserted.
“The most common one is when I’m sitting at the ADD, and you just turn up out of nowhere, grab me out of my chair and kiss me,” she blurted out before she could think twice and lose her nerve.
There was a long pause before Becker answered. “I do?”
Jess nodded, even though he couldn’t see her. “Sometimes you don’t even bother grabbing me out of my chair,” she said. She shifted in said chair, clearing her throat. “Then there’s the one in the locker room... that’s a frequent one of mine.”
Becker suddenly smirked, much to Jess’ surprise. “Am I shirtless in that one?” He asked.
Jess let out a shocked laugh. “Most of the time, yes,” she admitted. “That time that I walked in on you changing really added fuel to my imagination.”
Becker smiled, encouraging Jess on. This was working, this was keeping him awake and alert. It was just a shame (and a little typical) that the only time he could be this open with her – and she with him – was when he had a serious head injury. She looked at the other screen again, and saw that the others were only minutes away.
Jess squared her shoulders and leant forward, closer to the screen. “Especially when I’m thinking about my favourite fantasy...” She said suggestively.
“Which one is that?” Becker asked, right on cue.
Jess smiled. “It’s pretty tame, really. I just imagine you making love to me.”
Becker’s jaw dropped slightly. “Making...”
“It’s the same every night,” Jess interrupted him. “I’m asleep, and then you walk into my room and wake me up by kissing your way up my neck. As I wake up you kiss me properly and that’s when your hands go to work, touching me all over and pushing up underneath my nightdress... You push it off me and start kissing me all over instead of just touching me.”
Becker was sitting completely still, but his eyes were wide open. “Then what?” He demanded, when she didn’t say anything else.
“Then I usually decide that you’re wearing too many clothes, and have to push you away to get your shirt off.”
“And then I start exploring,” Jess said. She smiled. “Things get kind of hazy after that.”
Becker was staring straight ahead, very much awake, and Jess could have sworn he was breathing a little heavier than before. It surprised her that she didn’t feel more embarrassed, but really the relief at keeping him awake outweighed any embarrassment... and besides, there was no way he’d remember any of this.
“And that’s what you think of when you look at me?” Becker said eventually.
“Yes.” Jess paused before continuing. “Though some days...”
“There are some days that I don’t think about you waking me up and making love to me...” Jess admitted. “Some days all I want is for you to push me up against the wall of the storage cupboard and fuck me senseless.”
Jess slapped a hand over her mouth as soon as she’d finished speaking, torn between disbelief and pride that she’d just said that.
For Becker, it definitely looked like disbelief was the overriding emotion. “Jessica...”
Suddenly there was a muffled banging sound over the comms, and Jess realised the team had arrived. “Becker! Becker can you hear us?” She heard Matt yelling, though he sounded faint to her. “We’re here mate, we’ll get you out in just a minute.”
Jess sighed in relief; she could see Matt and Emily on the other side of the tumbled-down wall that Becker was behind. “I’m going to go off the private comms now,” she said to Becker. He was looking around, seeming a bit confused, and Jess quickly reset the comms so she could talk to everyone again.
“I’ve got a medical team en route, they’ll be with you in about five minutes,” she said briskly. “Becker’s awake, though he’s a little out of it.”
“Thanks, Jess,” Matt said. “I think we can get to him.”
“Be careful,” Jess said. “Recovery is only five minutes away.”
Matt handed his EMD to Emily and started to climb over the fallen crates in front of him – unlike the pile cutting off Forster and Bryant it was only a few crates high and climbable. Jess looked back at Becker – he was struggling to his feet again, which she wasn’t happy about, but at least he was still awake.
“Hey Becker,” Matt said, as he got to the top of the pile of crates. “How’s the head?”
“Fine,” Becker answered straight away.
“Uh-huh,” Matt said, not sounding too convinced. “Well the recovery team and the medics are nearly here.”
“I’m fine,” Becker said stubbornly. “Let’s just get out of here.”
Matt hadn’t climbed down the other side of the crates, and he folded his arms. “Okay, come over here and climb up, and we’ll go,” he said.
Becker took two steps before he fell against the wall again, obviously too dizzy to walk any further. There was no way he’d be climbing those crates.
“That’s what I thought,” Matt said drily, making his way down the other side of the crates and hurrying over to Becker.
Jess relaxed at the sight of Matt next to Becker, at how he was making him sit back down, trusting him to be able to look after the soldier. She sat back in her chair and let out a long breath. Becker was okay – the medics were just arriving, actually, and they would take care of him. The recovery team would clear a path to get him out, and they’d get out Forster and Bryant as well. The two raptors were dead and the anomaly was closed...
...And she’d just told Becker all about her fantasies.
Jess closed her eyes. Now that it wasn’t in the moment, now that Becker’s wellbeing didn’t depend on her keeping him talking, she allowed herself to feel embarrassed by what she’d said to him. Heat flooded her cheeks as she remembered telling him how she imagined him kissing her at the ADD... jumping her in the locker room... making love to her in her bed... and the storage cupboard...
She buried her face in her hands and groaned in the back of her throat for a brief moment before snatching her hands away and telling herself to get a grip. She’d done what she had to do. And he wasn’t going to remember anything. Becker had a concussion, which was why she’d had to tell him such things in the first place, and when he was back to his normal self he’d be lucky if he could even remember the accident, let alone the aftermath. It was fine.
The recovery team had Becker out of the warehouse within a few minutes, and the medics brought him straight back to the ARC. Jess stayed at the ADD, overseeing the recovery team freeing Forster and Bryant, and the clean up of the site. Obviously there was going to have to be a cover story, and Jess also had to find all the CCTV feeds, hack in and delete any evidence of their being there.
It was well gone midnight by the time Jess had handed the ADD controls over to the night team and headed down to the medical bay – she was sure Becker would be completely out of it and not up to visitors, but she had to check.
She met Matt as he was leaving the medical bay, and he gave her a tired smile. “Hey Jess,” he said. “Becker’s fine.”
Jess nodded. “Good,” she said. “Is he still in there?”
“Yeah, he’s out cold though,” Matt said. “They gave him a couple of stitches for his head and checked him over... he has a mild concussion and they’re just keeping him in for observation, so they can wake him up every couple of hours, but he’s fine.”
Jess swallowed. “Mild concussion?” She repeated.
“Yeah, it’s nothing to worry about. They said he’ll be absolutely fine.”
“No... no memory loss, or anything?”
Matt shook his head. “I doubt it,” he said. “I’ve had a worse concussion than that before, and I was right as rain in a day or so.” He gave Jess a smile. “If you want to go and visit him I’m sure it’ll be okay.”
Jess shook her head, taking a step back. “No – no, it’s okay, I... I should probably just head home,” she said. “I just wanted to make sure he was okay, and if you say he’s okay I’ll just –”
Matt frowned. “Jess, is everything alright?”
Jess managed a small smile. “Fine, I’m just tired,” she said.
“Right... well, I’ve got to grab some stuff from my lab, so I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”
Jess nodded. “Okay, see you.” She turned on her heel and fled to the locker room, where she grabbed her things before hurrying down to the garage. It wasn’t until she flung herself into the driver’s seat of her car that she allowed herself to freak out.
“Oh god,” she said, gripping the steering wheel. “Oh god oh god oh god.”
Becker was on medical leave the next day, so Jess had a little while to get her panicked heartbeat back to normal. She’d spent most of the first night lying awake in silent agony, going over every word she’d said to Becker when he was injured. She couldn’t believe that she had said that stuff to him! Yes, okay, so he’d been about to pass out, which would have been a very bad idea in his condition, but still... she could have sang... or, or kept shouting at him... Why did she decide spilling her most intimate fantasies about him was the best thing to do?
And he was going to remember it, all of it. Matt had said that he was completely fine. The next day she clung to the faint (and slightly guilty) hope that his concussion was a little worse than previously thought and he wouldn’t remember, but no such luck. Matt told her in the afternoon that he’d spoken to Becker on the phone, and he was coming back in the next day, and that he was completely fine and remembered everything. It seemed Matt had specifically checked up on whether he had any memory loss, since Jess had seemed ‘worried’ about it the night before.
There weren’t any anomaly alerts the next day, which gave Jess plenty of time to catch up on her paperwork for the anomalies the day before; and to obsess over what she said the day before.
This was going to be bad – so bad. He was going to remember everything she’d said, and he was going to... well, she didn’t know. She could guess. He was either going to tease her, smirking at her and quirking his eyebrow in that way he had, which would be completely mortifying and awful... or he was going to get all awkward and pull away from her.
Which would be worse. So much worse.
Oh god, she’d ruined everything. Either way, their friendship was ruined. One way she was going to be too embarrassed to even look at him, and the other he was going to just end it. And that would be that.
But there’d been no other way – she tried shouting, she’d tried talking about other stuff, but it hadn’t worked, he’d been slipping deeper and deeper into unconsciousness... and then she’d mentioned daydreams and he’d just... woken up.
That’s right, he had woken up. She had started talking about her fantasies, and he’d come right back from the brink. That had to mean something. He’d smirked and made quips about being shirtless... he’d wanted to know more.
That was the thought that kept Jess awake for most of the second night. He had woken up. He had shown interest. Yes he’d been slightly loopy – at the time Jess had thought it was because he had a bad concussion, but now she knew that in actual fact it was just that his inhibitions were down. Meaning that he had those kind of thoughts about her too, and in his weakened state he was unable to hide it.
But she was absolutely sure he was going to try to hide it again. He would go back to his I’m-a-tough-soldier-facade and they would be back to where they were before it had happened. Where they always were. Jess felt like she was stuck in a never-ending dance with Becker – they would take one step forward and he would take two steps back, on and on and on.
She was sick of it. She was only twenty years old, she shouldn’t be spending all her time hopelessly fantasising about a guy at work, especially if he was too emotionally stunted to ever make a move.
So it was, the next morning, that Jess was feeling incredibly self-righteous and determined not to let Becker get to her. If he was going to be uncomfortable and weird about what had happened, that was his problem. She had just done what she had to, and truth be told she was actually kind of glad it was out in the open.
She knew Becker was in the building but she didn’t see him during the morning – he’d come in late and had to report straight to the medical bay for a check up. Then he’d gone straight to the armoury, presumably to check in with his men, and to write his report on the incident with the raptors. Jess got on with her work, trying to ignore the fact that she did, in fact, know exactly where he was in the building.
Eventually she got annoyed with herself and picked up the stack of filing she’d been putting off all morning, and headed out of the hub. She stopped in at the menagerie on the way to check in on Abby, who was a little upset after sending Sid and Nancy back through to their time, and then carried on.
She was halfway down the top-floor corridor when a door ahead of her opened, and someone stepped out, right in front of her.
It was Becker. Of course. He had to appear now, right now when she was on her way to file these particular reports. Jess froze, rocking on the spot at her sudden stop, but that was nothing compared to Becker’s reaction. His eyes widened to an almost comical extent at the sight of her, and she saw a distinct pink flush creep up the side of his neck. “Jess!” He exclaimed. “Erm, hi.”
It was Becker’s obvious awkwardness more than anything that kicked Jess’ courage into gear. He was either awkward because he was uncomfortable with what she’d said, in which case she needed to act calm to smooth things over with him to preserve their friendship and her dignity, or he was awkward because he’d liked what she’d said, and just didn’t know what to do next... in which case she needed to be the calm one and not miss this opportunity.
Either way, she needed to stay calm.
“Hey,” she said cheerfully. “How are you feeling?”
Becker blinked at her, and Jess decided that she needed to look away to keep her calm, so she started walking again to give her an excuse. “I – yeah, I’m fine,” Becker said. Jess nodded as she brushed past him, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Becker swallow. She worked hard to keep her smile in, though it was starting to look like her second theory might be the right one.
“Thanks,” Becker said after a moment. He started walking after her. “Do you need a hand?”
Jess smiled. “No, I’m balanced,” she said truthfully. She kept walking and turned a corner up ahead, Becker dogging her heels the entire way.
Becker cleared his throat after a few moments. “So, erm... I wanted to say thanks,” he said, once again sounding very awkward. “If you hadn’t kept me awake I don’t know what would have happened.”
So he remembered. She was pretty sure he did anyway, but there was the confirmation. And he was bringing it up – that was quite surprising, coming from him. If he wanted to forget about it, wouldn’t he just... well, forget about it? Like the bug incident... he barely even mentioned it after it happened.
Jess fought against her nervousness and kept her voice level as she answered. “Well, it was the least I could do,” she said casually. They’d reached her destination now, the nondescript door had a small plaque reading ‘486-B’.
Fighting against the urge to run away and hide, Jess squared her shoulders and nodded at the door. “Could you...?”
Becker frowned for a moment before realising what she meant. “Oh, yeah.” He stepped forward and swiped his security bracelet over the lock, and then pushed the door open. Jess smiled her thanks and walked into the darkened room as he held the door open for her. She put her pile of files down on an empty space of shelf that she kept free for just such a purpose, and waited to see if Becker was going to say something else.
She didn’t have to wait long. “Look, I don’t want things to be awkward between us, and so I just want to... apologise,” he said haltingly.
Jess frowned at that, genuinely confused. “For what?” She asked, looking round at him. He was still holding the door open, and as the lights were off where she was standing, the only light came from the corridor behind him, and so he was mostly in shadow.
Becker hesitated before answering. “Well you had to say certain things to keep me awake, which you wouldn’t have said to me usually... and you had to make stuff up...”
Ah, so that’s how he was going to play it.
Really, it was quite gentlemanly – he was giving her an out. All she had to say, right now, was that she had done what she had to do, or that she had to say something to keep him awake, or that she couldn’t think of anything else shocking enough... anything like that, and they could forget it happened. Again. They always forgot about it.
“Make stuff up?” Jess said after a moment, using everything she had in her to keep her voice casual. She walked over to where Becker was standing, and as she got closer she saw his eyes widen again. She looked away and turned on the lightswitch, which was on the wall next to where he stood.
Moment of truth.
She gave him a fake frown, before pretending to understand suddenly. “Oh...” she said, walking away again, “you mean like you fucking me in a storage cupboard?”
Yes, you did just say that, DON’T FREAK OUT.
She wasn’t looking, but Jess was pretty sure she heard Becker choke slightly. “Er... yeah.”
Jess swallowed, pretending to look through her pile of files. She was going to say it, but there was no way she could look at him while she said it. “I didn’t make that up,” she said, quietly but firmly. “I didn’t make anything up.”
For a long moment Becker didn’t move – then Jess heard him shuffle and the sound of the door closing. She looked up then, unsure about whether he was on this side of the door or the other.
He was still in the room, looking at her with an intensity she’d never seen before. Even though there was a high chance he was now going to list for her all the reasons that the two of them together would be a bad idea, she couldn’t help but respond to the look he was giving her, and heat pooled in her stomach.
“Jess, I think that we need to t–”
Talk, Jess guessed he was going to say, but instead he cut off, staring round at their surroundings with wide eyes. He obviously hadn’t looked at the room they were in until now... and now he saw where they were. Jess watched as he looked around at the walls, covered in shelves, and the various boxes and filing drawers that sat on those shelves.
Becker swallowed convulsively. “This... this is...”
“Storage Room 486-B,” Jess said quietly.
Continued in Part Three...