FANDOM: THE BIG BANG THEORY
Title: Flirting
Word Count: 1,477
Spoilers: Slight for the Pilot
Rating: PG
Summary: Leonard asks Penny about her behaviour towards Sheldon the day they all met, which leads to an interesting conversation with Sheldon.
A/N - Something I started ages ago and just finished. It's a little strange, and just based around a conversation I can imagine Penny and Sheldon having. I hope you like it!
Flirting
Penny was just drifting off to sleep when Leonard shifted next to her and spoke, pulling her back to the waking world. "So I was thinking today about the first time we met. Remember?" He said.
Penny resisted the urge to groan but kept her eyes shut. "When I sent you to get my TV," she said sleepily. She cracked on eye to look at Leonard. "I’m sorry about that, by the way."
Leonard shook his head. "No, before that - you know, when you came over for lunch."
Penny closed her eyes again. "What about it?"
Leonard took a deep breath. "Okay, this is probably really dumb, and I don’t know why I was thinking about it, but I was and I was just wondering ‘cause it seems kinda strange to me and -"
"Leonard!" Penny interrupted, opening her eyes to glare at him.
"Were you flirting with Sheldon?"
Penny's jaw dropped and she scrambled up to rest on her elbows. "What?"
Leonard looked sheepish. "That day. When you came over for lunch. Were you flirting with Sheldon?"
Penny stared at Leonard in silence for a few moments, wondering where the hell this was coming from, and then decided it didn't matter. He was asking, and she wasn't going to lie. "Yeah."
Leonard's eyes widened almost comically. "You were?"
Penny shrugged. "Yeah. Totally."
Leonard rolled onto his back, his eyes still wide. "Okay..."
"Honey, I don’t know why you’re looking so shocked," Penny said. "You asked me, so you must have noticed at the time."
"Well, yeah, I just… thought I was nuts. I mean, it’s Sheldon."
"Yeah, but it’s also me. I flirt, Leonard."
"But… why would you want to flirt with Sheldon? Sheldon?"
Penny grinned. "Leonard, you’ve probably never realised this, but Sheldon’s kind of a hottie," she said.
If she'd his eyes were wide before, they were nothing to now. "What?"
Penny shrugged. "He’s totally cute."
"Sheldon?"
"Yeah. Why do you think all those grad students trail after him? It’s not because of his people skills," Penny said. "So yeah, when I first met him, I flirted. Then he, you know, started talking, and I realised he’s nuts."
Leonard was silent for a few moments, but Penny had a feeling the conversation wasn't over. She was right.
"Do you still think he’s cute?"
"Well… yeah," she said. "He hasn’t exactly changed his looks in the past two years." Leonard nodded, staring at the ceiling, and Penny rolled her eyes. "You’re not gonna be weird about this, are you?"
"No, no. I’m just… surprised that you think of him like that," Leonard said.
"I don’t," Penny insisted. "I’m just stating the fact that he’s a cute guy."
"Cuter than me?"
Penny paused, wondering how to do this diplomatically. "You’re a different kind of cute," she said eventually.
"But it was Sheldon you flirted with that first day, so you must prefer his kind of cute…" Leonard said pensively.
Penny groaned and flopped back onto her back. "Oh my god I am so not having this conversation!" She said. "Yes I flirted with him, yes I think he's cute - you asked, and that's the truth. You'll also notice that you're the one I'm in bed with right now. I'm going to sleep - good night."
"Sorry. Just... Sheldon?"
"Shut up Leonard."
"Good night."
XXX
Leonard usually came in to say goodbye to Penny before he left for work, but the next morning she woke up before he had the chance. She padded barefoot down the hall and into the living area, where she found Leonard and Sheldon standing at the kitchen island, Leonard finishing off a plate of toast, and Sheldon cutting up fruit for snacks.
Penny smiled wickedly.
“Morning Leonard,” she said, walking over to him and kissing him on the cheek. She stepped round him and sidled up next to Sheldon. “Hiya Handsome.”
She wasn’t looking at him, but she heard Leonard choke a little on his toast.
“Good morning Penny,” said Sheldon, completely unfazed by her new nickname for him. “I reheated the coffee for you.”
Penny smiled at him. “Thanks Cutie,” she said.
Leonard finished his toast and was glaring at Penny, who smiled sweetly at him.
“I’m gonna brush my teeth,” he said after a moment. He turned and started to walk away.
“Okay,” Penny said. “I’ll help Hotstuff here make his lunch.”
Leonard started to walk faster and closed the door to the bathroom just a little too hard. Penny grinned and started to pour herself some coffee.
“Penny?”
“Yeah Sheldon?”
“Why do you keep using petnames associated with my looks?”
Penny giggled and stepped back next to him. She shrugged. “I’m just trying to annoy Leonard,” she told him truthfully. “He thinks that I think you’re cuter than he is.”
Sheldon frowned slightly. “Why would he think that?”
Penny shrugged again. “Well…I kind of told him I did,” she said. Sheldon raised an eyebrow and she was quick to elaborate. “We were talking about the day we first met and… it came up.”
Sheldon looked at her thoughtfully for a moment before replying. “Well. Thank you for thinking I am ‘cute’,” he said. Then he went back to cutting up fruit.
Penny grinned. “No need to thank me, sweetie,” she said. “You are.”
Sheldon nodded. “Is that why you were flirting with me that day?”
Penny froze in the act of blowing over the top of her coffee, her eyes widening with shock. She stared up at Sheldon who looked back calmly, his eyes coolly assessing her. For a moment, she considered denial. Then she remembered she wasn’t twelve.
“You - you knew I was flirting with you?” She asked him incredulously.
Sheldon turned away from her and started cutting up fruit again. “Well, I wasn’t too sure at the time, but based on my observations of your social interactions over the past two years, I have reached the conclusion that you were flirting with me when we first met,” he said matter-of-factly.
Penny’s jaw dropped a little. Sheldon had known. And what’s more, he was completely unfazed by it - Penny tried not to feel miffed about that. A suspicion started in her mind, and she walked slowly back to the island, coming to stand next to Sheldon again.
"Sheldon… Were you flirting back?" She asked.
He didn't look at her. "Yes."
Penny had always thought she was crazy and imagining things, and her jaw dropped again at Sheldon's admission. "Why?" She asked incredulously. This was Homo novus Sheldon Cooper they were talking about after all - surely he was above such human interactions?
Sheldon shrugged, still not looking at Penny. "The so-called ‘art’" - he actually put down the knife in order to make air quotes - "of flirting has always been a source of confusion for me. Since you were flirting with me, I saw it as an opportunity to broaden my understanding of it." He said matter-of-factly.
Penny's eyes widened. "You mean you were experimenting on me?" She asked.
Sheldon glanced at her, and then nodded. "A crude but accurate summary."
She wasn't surprised by his answer - it was definitely more Sheldon than any other answer he might have given her. Still, she was surprisingly disappointed. She turned around and leant her back against the counter, resting on her elbows - it was much easier to see Sheldon's face from this angle. She pouted dramatically. "It wasn’t because you thought I was pretty?" She asked teasingly.
"No." He sounded convincing, but from her new position Penny could see his eye twitch slightly as he spoke.
She grinned delightedly. "You’re such a liar," she said.
Sheldon rolled his eyes and started to put all the fruit he'd cut into a tupperware box he had ready. "It may have been part of it," he admitted after a moment.
Penny just smiled and tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Oh Dr Cooper," she said softly, "you sure know how to flatter a girl."
Sheldon paused in what he was doing and turned to look at her, frowning slightly. "Sarcasm?" He asked.
Penny shook her head. "No, flirting," she told him. His frown cleared and he looked slightly surprised. Penny grinned and nudged his leg with her knee. "Well come on, aren’t you going to flirt back this time?" She asked playfully.
Sheldon didn't say anything, just stood there looking at her in an oddly intense way. Then there came the sound of the bathroom door opening, and Sheldon's eyes flicked away from Penny, over the top of her head to where Leonard was now walking back into the living room. Penny looked over her should at him and then back at Sheldon, who was looking at her again.
"No," he said simply. Then he picked up his tupperware, snapped on the lid and walked away.
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